By Mistress Nona

When, where, and why were you first attracted to kink?
I'm going to take a walk through memory lane. It was way back in the seventies. I began as a swinger in Philadelphia. In those days swinging wasn't on premises. So everything was private and very discreet. I also looked forward to the many N.Y. excursions. At one party I met a man, who introduced me to the scene. S/M, D/S, and role play was just a natural course of progression. It was erotic. It was the expansion of my own sexuality.

Before your introduction to the scene, did you feel that something was missing? Did you feel a sense of being incomplete?
I never felt a sense of incompleteness, because, as a swinger, I was always expanding my horizons. I didn't feel anything was missing in my own sexuality. The scene was just my next level of progression. It was always part of my sexuality. I was very fortunate to meet the person, who not only introduced me to the scene, but also encouraged my education and growth.

What were some of your first fantasies involving the S/M scene?
My main attraction was fetishism, the dressing. The tight, long skirts, corsets, and high heels. I have always had a fetish for latex. Both the look and the feel of latex. Very similar to the sketches of John Willie. The influencing factor was the appearance of others dressed in such clothing, especially the Dominant Female. The tightness, the appearance and feel of bondage was the key. I was highly influenced by the first book I read, The Adventures Of Gwendolyn by John Willie.

Has S/M, B/D, D/S (the scene) given you the outlet for the expansion of your own sexuality and creativity?
Yes it has. Coming from the swinging background, the scene was the next step. Remember you have to crawl before you walk. I didn't do a lot of reading. I lived it as hands-on. It was always inside of my mind and always expanding my horizons. My creativity is constantly broadening, because it is totally spontaneous. To date I still continue to go to workshops in the leather community. It's a never-ending learning process. I was very fortunate because I was trained by two Masters, who respected and encouraged my duel head. I was always encouraged to explore both my dominant and submissive sides. In those days it was different. I was trained properly, so the etiquette was always there. This etiquette was not only for myself, but also other players as well. I always knew the safety levels. And I have a unique talent for reading the body language of others. When I'm topping, the submissive is my responsibility.

Are you still growing and expanding as a Dominant?
Yes, of course. What concerns me is the younger generations. As I said before, I was trained properly. There is a definite void in the training procedures of the generations following mine. I can't stress enough the importance of S/M education. Go to the leather workshops, lectures, and activities. Both the dominants and submissives should be knowledgeable. It is of great importance that the submissive be able to protect themselves from the unskilled Dominants. Its not about getting hurt.

Being in the scene for many years, and being considered "The Queen of S/M", what was the scene like then when you first came out?
It was underground and very secretive. Finding a Mistress was a difficult process. The search was genuine and sincere. Therefore the slaves were also. They where delighted to find you, and actually happy to meet you. There was a mutual respect. Because the S/M scene has been exploited and commercialized, a majority of the sincerity has disappeared. Now there is a general insensitivity and rudeness.

How is the scene different now?
There is a distinctive division between the old guard and the new. There is a friction produced. The old guard was taught etiquette and respect from the actual training process. Now people go to seminars to learn what we lived. In those days, you taught a slave properly. And you always checked just to make sure. Their progress was in your hands.

How do you separate or combine your straight (vanilla) life with your S/M life?
I don't find I have to have divisions in my life. My life is well-rounded, because I need the balance. My life style friends and myself engage in the normal activities of life. I spend a great deal of time traveling, and in museums. I enjoy concerts, dancing, and entertaining. The key is balance.

What advice can you give novices who fantasize about becoming involved in the scene?
Find someone to be your mentor.< Both the mentor and the trainee should have sincere goals. This might be a difficult task because of the stiff competition. You need to feel comfortable with each other. Individuals and the scene should never be abused, either emotionally, socially, or financially. Growth and creativity should always be encouraged. Boundaries should be expanded. If you find such a partner, consider yourself lucky.